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State of the Blue Jackets, Inspired by George Washington

Fellow Fans of the Blue Jackets of Columbus

I embrace with great satisfaction the opportunity which now presents itself of congratulating you on the present favorable prospects of our hockey club. The recent addition of the important forward in Scott Hartnell to the roster of the resident hockey club in Columbus (of which official information has been received), the rising credit and respectability of our organization, the general manager and increasing depth in the prospect pool toward the goal of conquering the Metropolitan Division, and the speed, skill and tenacity and the plenty with which we are blessed are circumstances auspicious in an eminent degree to our goal of winning the Stanley Cup.

In resuming your consultations for the general good you cannot but derive encouragement from the reflection that the measures of the last offseason have been as satisfactory to your fellow fans as the novelty and difficulty of the work allowed you to hope. Still further to realize their expectations and to secure the roster spots which a gracious coaching staff has placed within their reach will in the course of the training camp call for the cool and deliberate exertion of their skating, stickhandling, and hockey sense.

Among the many interesting objects which will engage your attention that of providing for the common defense of the team’s playoff position will merit particular regard. To be prepared for war is one of the most effectual means of preserving our place in the standings.

A free people ought not only to be armed with upgraded WiFi, but also beer; to which end a jersey and well-digested pre-game dinner is requisite; and their safety and interest require that they should promote such manufactories as tend to render them independent of others for essential, particularly hockey-related, supplies.

The proper establishment of the players which may be deemed indispensable will be entitled to mature consideration. In the arrangements which may be made respecting it will be of importance to conciliate the comfortable support of the veterans and rookies with a due regard to the salary cap.

There was reason to hope that the personnel upgrades adopted to take down Eastern Conference foes would have relieved the fan base of their depredations, but you will perceive from the information contained in the twitterverse which I shall direct to be laid before you (comprehending a communication by searching for #CBJ) that we ought to be prepared to afford protection to Ryan Johansen, at least until he signs his damned contract.

The interests of the Blue Jackets require that the team’s intercourse with other clubs should be facilitated by such provisions as will enable Jarmo to fulfill his duty in that respect in the manner which circumstances may render most conducive to the fan base, and to this end that the compensation to be made to the free agents who may be employed should, according to the nature of their appointments, be really, really good at hockey, and a competent chunk of the salary cap designated for defraying the expenses incident to the conduct of free agency.

Various considerations also render it expedient that the terms on which rookies may be admitted to the roster should be speedily ascertained by a uniform rule of forcing the coaches to keep them at the end of training camp.

Uniformity in the systems, lines, and defense pairings of the Jackets is an object of great importance, and will, I am persuaded, be duly attended to by Todd Richards.

The advancement of Ryan Johansen by all proper means will not, I trust, need recommendation; but I cannot forbear intimating to you the expediency of giving effectual encouragement as well to the introduction of a new contract as to the exertions of skill and genius in producing on the score sheet, and of facilitating the improved goal totals for his wingers.

Nor am I less persuaded that you will agree with me in opinion that there is nothing which can better deserve your patronage than the promotion of the All Star Game. Knowledge is in every city that hosts this event the fans are given the surest guarantee of public happiness. In one in which the measures of the rest of the NHL receive their impressions so immediately from the sense of the community as in ours it is proportionally essential.

To the success of the 2014/2015 season it contributes in various ways – by coaches and management convincing those who are intrusted with winning hockey games that every game is best won with the enlightened confidence of the players, and by teaching the players themselves to know and to value their own abilities; to discern and provide against attempts at discrediting them; to distinguish between oppression and the necessary exercise of dealing with the media; between feeling pressure to win by the fans; to discriminate the spirit of victories from the bummer of losses- cherishing the first, avoiding the last – and uniting a speedy but temperate vigilance against encroachments in the standings from teams below them.

Whether the Stanley Cup will be within reach, by the continued development of the players, or by any other expedients will be well worthy of a place in the deliberations of the bloggers all season long.

Fans of Other NHL Teams:

I saw with particular pleasure at the close of the last season the organization had become legitimate to those in the NHL. In this sentiment I entirely concur; and to a perfect confidence in the team improving on their endeavors last season.

Good luck this season, suckers.

Fans of The Cannon:

I have directed the proper officers to lay before you, respectively, such blog posts and articles as regard the affairs particularly recommended to your consideration, and necessary to convey to you that information of the state of the Jackets which it is my duty to afford.

The success of our team is the great object to which our cares and efforts ought to be directed, and I shall derive great satisfaction from cooperation with you in the pleasing though arduous task of insuring to our fellow fans the opinion and analysis which they have a right to expect from the best Blue Jackets community on the interwebs.

MIKE MACLEAN