clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

It’s 2021 and everyone has progressed past the need for cable television... except the NHL

New, comments

Paying for cable? In this economy? Literally could not be me.

NHL: Eastern Conference Qualifications-Columbus Blue Jackets at Toronto Maple Leafs John E. Sokolowski-USA TODAY Sports

So let me get this straight. As a society, we can put human beings on the moon. We can program robots to dance and perform surgeries. We can design cars that drive themselves and run on electricity. So you’re trying to tell me I need to have CABLE TELEVISION to watch the Columbus Blue Jackets play hockey? Give me a f***ing break.

I am a modern woman. By this, I mean I subscribe to a gross amount of television services as it is. Netflix, Hulu, HBO Max, Disney+, Amazon Prime TV, the standard menu. Now, whether I pay for all of these myself or I’m still logged into some of my ex’s accounts because he apparently hasn’t noticed is neither here nor there. The crux of the issue is that I can’t watch the Blue Jackets play on ANY of these mediums to which I’m currently subscribed!! That is absurd!

I had Hulu Live up until about two weeks ago, for which I paid an insane $70 per month so that my roommate could watch The Bachelor live every Monday night while I hid in my room. The silver lining of this subscription was that I could watch the Blue Jackets whenever they played! NO LONGER! This was yanked in October when Hulu failed to reach an agreement with their parent company, Sinclair Broadcast Group. Same thing with YouTube TV. So I obviously dropped my Hulu Live subscription down to just regular ad-free version because I’m not a total Neanderthal. Sorry about your live Bachelor shows, roommate!

I can’t even legally tell you how I watch the Blue Jackets play. The reason that I can’t tell you is because I now have to do it under surreptitious, less-than-legal circumstances. But this is what I’ve been forced to do! I’ve had to turn to a life of crime just to watch my Blue Jackets play their silly little hockey games. I would literally rather continue to be a criminal than go back to cable! I simply will not do it.

Hulu, Fox Sports, Sinclair Broadcasting, whomever is involved in this mess, here is my message to you: figure your sh*t out. I can’t speak for all of your customers but I do speak for myself when I say this pandemic has left me both bedraggled and balling on a budget. I just want to watch my Blue Jackets play without it being a giant headache or a cyber felony. And I simply will not go back to cable. I refuse!!! So figure it out. Y’all are losing money! This is bad business. Thanks in advance!

How are you all watching? Sound off in the comments - let’s chat about it.