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Can’t Buy a Goal

Or, a Hard Day’s Hockey Game

Columbus Blue Jackets v Toronto Maple Leafs Photo by Andre Ringuette/Freestyle Photo/Getty Images

Can’t buy a goal
Can’t buy a goal

Say you don’t want no All-Star Finn
And I’ll be satisfied
Say you don’t want the Latvian
To finally get his try
‘Cause I don’t care too much for goalies
Goalies can’t buy a goal

I may not have a high-priced wing
But I have Jones and Murray
I may not have a faceoff win
But I got Zach Werenski
I don’t care too much for defense
Defense can’t buy a goal

Can’t buy a goal
Jody Shelley tells me so
Can’t buy a goal
no-no, no, no

Say you don’t take no penalties
But now the refs gotta scratch that itch
Say that you’ve got a power play
That the coaches still can’t fix
I don’t care too much for penalties
Obviously penalties can’t score a goal

/guitar solo