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The Cannon announces two new signings

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The most important additions of the offseason!

Boston Bruins v Columbus Blue Jackets - Game Six

COLUMBUS, OH - On Saturday, The Cannon manager Pale Dragon announced the signing of two new writers to his staff: Rachel Bules and elpalito. Per blog policy, terms of the contracts were not disclosed.

“I’m really proud of the work my team has done this season, particularly during the historic playoff run and the drama of this offseason,” Mr. Dragon said during a press conference in South Columbus attended by his dog. “There was a lot of work to be split among just five people, but they rose to the occasion.” Mr. Dragon went on to the specify the contributions of Ryan Real as gifmaster and producer of The Cannon Cast podcast, Elaine Shircliff running point on the Facebook and Twitter accounts, MrSwift13 with his round-the-clock coverage of the draft and the start of free agency, and William Chase for chipping in wherever needed, especially on the podcast and the gif work.

As for the new hires, Pale Dragon drew inspiration from Blue Jackets GM Jarmo Kekalainen. “Just as Jarmo wanted to show confidence in his core players by getting help at the deadline to push for a Stanley Cup, I want to add some new experience and voices to an already opinionated staff as we strive for the SBNation Stanley Cup of blogging.” Despite this claim, no evidence could be found that such a prize actually exists.

Ms. Bules comes to The Cannon from Ohio State’s student newspaper, The Lantern, as well as an internship with the Columbus Blue Jackets, where she wrote articles and took pictures for the official team website. “If you attended a home game last season,” she says, “you might have seen me — I shoot photos at every game at Nationwide.” As for Mr. Palito, longtime readers of The Cannon will be familiar with his work in the comment section. “elpalito has long been on the radar of our amateur scouts for his comments. We don’t always agree - especially with regards to Torts and Cam Atkinson - but we respect the way he makes his point.” Mr. Palito still intends to follow what the readers say, pledging that “my intent is to entertain you always and (thought) provoke you often. And if I don’t, well… you can always tell me in the comments.”

Mr. Dragon wanted to thank the readers for their continued support of The Cannon, and pledged continued daily coverage throughout the offseason. “But training camp can’t get here soon enough.” Please join him in welcoming the new writers. Look for their first pieces in the coming weeks.

Full statements from the new writers

Rachel Bules:

Hi, I’m Rachel — I grew up a soccer player, but now I’m pretty into hockey. I’m originally from Toledo, but I’ve lived in Columbus for the last five years and recently became an Ohio State alumna — in the meantime, I developed a serious affinity for the Blue Jackets. It’s always fun to root for the underdog, right? If you attended a home game last season, you might have seen me — I shoot photos at every game at Nationwide. I love documenting the games, and I’m even more excited to be able to write about the team for The Cannon.

elpalito:

To the delight of some, the dismay of a few, and probably the surprise of most – PD and the writing crew have given me the opportunity and honor – and I mean that sincerely – to join them in the pursuit of creating and sharing CBJ articles for all of you, the Cannonites.

I’m one of those semi-mythical Day 1 fans who have been here through all of the ups and downs of this team. I was a Pens fan who simply wasn’t about to let the opportunity of having a ‘hometown’ hockey team go by. Besides, Jagr had begun his trek through the NHL and the Pens had no appeal. I joined the Cannon early in 2014 – I can’t recall why. Looking back, the CBJ had just lost 6-3 to the Coyotes and had a 16-17-3 record. I’m sure I wasn’t pleased and needed to let others know about it.

There’s a mrs.palito and a kidpalita. The kid has more CBJ gear than I do, so I’m doing that right, at least.

My intent is to entertain you always and (thought) provoke you often. And if I don’t, well… you can always tell me in the comments.

Palmer482…that fanpost may become a real article, after all.