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Game Preview: This One Goes to Eleven?

The despised Penguins come to town for the biggest game of the season so far

NHL: Columbus Blue Jackets at Pittsburgh Penguins
Brandon Dubinsky. Birthplace: Anchorage, AK. Residence: Sidney Crosby’s head
Charles LeClaire-USA TODAY Sports

You may remember how I started my Detroit preview with an expression of hatred. Well, double that for Pittsburgh and the Pittsburgh Penguins. Pittsburgh is a dirty city of dirty people. They’re fat and toothless with an accent that can melt paint. The Pittsburgh Left is a completely wreckless way to drive. Oh, you got three rivers? Too bad they all stink. Literally. And who the hell puts fries in a goddamn sandwich? This is why ISIS hates us.

And the Penguins. The mascot is dumb. What kind of chump-ass bird can’t even fly? I hate the way NBC and the rest of the national hockey media fawns over them. I hate the favorable treatment officials give Sidney Crosby. I hate the way all their obnoxious front-running fans pack OUR arena.

This. Ends. Now.

This is OUR city. This is OUR house. This is OUR team. This is a GOOD goddamn hockey team and this is OUR time.

We’ve won 10 in a row. We want 11.

We’re gonna take these assholes down tonight, take first place in the NHL, then wreck the rest of the league. Bring it on.

Who’s with me?

Roster News: Cam Atkinson bravely took a shot off his ankle in the third period on Tuesday. He was spotted in a walking boot yesterday, but said it was purely precautionary. He will be a game time decision. If he can’t go, then Oliver BJORKSTRAND will take his place. I actually think the Great Dane is a similar enough player to be a good fit as a replacement.

Bob is back in goal, of course.

On the Pittsburgh side, Jacket-killer Kris Letang is on the IR with a lower-body injury.

Projected Lineups

Brandon Saad Alexander Wennberg Nick Foligno
Boone Jenner Brandon Dubinsky Cam Atkinson
Matt Calvert William Karlsson Josh Anderson
Scott Hartnell Lukas Sedlak Sam Gagner
Zach Werenski Seth Jones
Jack Johnson David Savard
Ryan Murray Markus Nutivaara
Sergei Bobrovsky
Curtis McElhinney
Who the hell
cares. It does
not matter who
they send at
us. We
are going
to destroy
them.
Marc-Andre Fleury