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Game Preview #31 - What Should the Sideshow Be?

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I'm done trying to provide "hockey analysis". Let's pick a distraction!

Russell LaBounty-USA TODAY Sports

Blue Jackets vs. Islanders - 7:00 PM
Game Faceoff

Back in 2011-2012, we thought the Jackets would be good. They were not. It got to a point for us writers where we would try anything to make covering a shitty team interesting. For me, it was two things: The Bizarro Jackets, and using song lyrics to recap games I was recapping.

It didn't change anything on the ice, but it helped me cope (so did having my first child be born in December of that crap-tacular season, because I was able to check out and not watch most of the back half of the season).

So, we need to find a way to cope this season. I'm not going to try to provide hockey analysis for this preview (other than, oh God, we suck and the Islanders assuredly do not suck). Instead, I'm opening it up to you all. What should be the new method for coping and feeling better about the lot in life we have of following this shit-stained franchise?

Projected Lineups

Columbus Blue Jackets
(11-17-2, 24 Points; 8th division, 16th conference)

Boone Jenner Ryan Johansen Brandon Saad
Scott Hartnell Brandon Dubinsky Nick Foligno
Matt Calvert Alexander Wennberg Cam Atkinson
Gregory Campbell William Karlsson David Clarkson
Jack Johnson David Savard
Ryan Murray Andrew Bodnarchuk
Fedor Tyutin Kevin Connauton
Curtis McElhinney
Joonas Korpisalo

New York Islanders
(16-8-5, 37 Points; 3rd Division, 5th Conference)

Brock Nelson John Tavares Kyle Okposo
Anders Lee Franz Nielsen Josh Bailey
Nikolay Kulemin Mikhail Grabovski Ryan Strome
Matt Martin Casey Cizikas Cal Clutterbuck
Nick Leddy Travis Hamonic
Calvin de Haan Johnny Boychuk
Thomas Hickey Brian Strait
Jaroslav Halak
Thomas Greiss