New Game Day Feature: Bizarro Jackets Game Day Matchup

Bizarro Jackets vs. Bizarro Jets - November 12, 2011

We've officially gotten to the point where this team is so [bleep]ing bad that I'm taking new steps to be entertained, and to bring wins to Columbus. With that, I give you the inaugural edition of: Bizarro Jackets Game Day Matchup: Game 16.

Today's bizarro matchup fittingly puts the Nintendo Wii versions of the Blue Jackets and Jets (née: Thrashers, and yes, that's the FEMININE tense of née if you're scoring at home) against each other in mortal video kombat. Basically, I'm so sick of seeing this team play like crap that I've decided that, at least once on each game day, I'm going to see them play well. So, I've taken control, edited the lineups to match our preview, and threw down.

Video after the jump, as well as some notes. Enjoy!

Game Notes

  • Remember: this is a Nintendo Wii game. The focus is on "hey, my six year old can play this and have fun!" They didn't spend as much time on "realism" or "player faces" or "Cody Bass really can't score from the high slot on a Power Play" so much as "you can hold a fake hockey stick and cross check EREBODY!" Food for thought.
  • These rosters date back to end-of-season 2009-2010. I've updated each team's roster (you're welcome) to reflect current status, and pre-set each team's lineup to match our Game Day Preview. However, given the oldness of the rosters originally, some of the players' numbers (James Wisniewsk = #34, Mark Letestu = #14, Grant Clitsome = #45, Jeff Carter, should he ever play, = #17, etc.) don't match up. Also, some of their abilities don't match up either.
  • I've spent A LOT of time playing this game over the years, so take it all with a grain of salt. I've gotten pretty good at beating Video Goalies and placing my shots into the nether corners of the goal. Skillz.
  • This is the first run of doing this, so I literally set my Flip camera up on some boxes and books. That's why the screen is cock-eyed, why the video may not be of the best quality, and so on. I'm going to try to make it better each time, so bear with me.
  • You'll note that every player on the Jackets is all of a sudden right handed. That's because I hold my stick right handed in real life, and therefore have my preferences set on the game to do the same. The players reflect that. So, they're all playing right handed. Or, Marc Methot suddenly got a kick-ass backhand.
  • Finally, this game is pretty cool in that you're using an actual FAKE HOCKEY STICK to control your dudes. Hence, when my players rear up for a bitchin' slap shot, I rear up for a bitchin' slap shot. That's why on some shots you'll see the camera shake. I was standing about two feet behind it, and, well, sometimes I get a little into my hockey video games. There's a surprise Easter Egg in the third period on a slap shot. See if you can find it!

Intro and 1st Period

 

2nd and 3rd Period

Real Game Notes

  • I played this game with the lineups from the preview this morning, before some of the scratches and changes were announced. Just FYI...
  • This just in: EA Sports thinks Chris Mason S-U-C-K-S.
  • Note who scores first for Columbus, and who's the first star. Positive omen, perhaps?
  • Even with my tremendous experience with this game (say again: SKILLZ), I'm not immune to the complete Jackets own-zone breakdown. You'll see it, know it, and immediately think, "Yeah, that was actually pretty realistic" when it happens.
  • Apparently, I was wrong about Cody Bass all along.

Again, this is meant to bring some fun and a chuckle or two to your otherwise heretofore dreadful Jackets Game Days. I'll work to make this a little better each time. I hope you all enjoy it!

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